Monday, January 24, 2005

Short Note

This article struck a nerve – or three.

I didn’t see the TV show they referred to (The Amazing Race) so I won’t comment on the specifics; it’s just that this sort of thing – “emotional abuse” – is too familiar to me.

I hesitate to even use the word “abuse”. It’s so overused nowadays that it no longer has the impact it should. It summons up visions of drama queen whining, which is a problem in itself.

I had it in mind to do an entry here and title it “Edith’s Husband”. Edith is a woman in my bowling league and her husband is legendary in this community.
Everyone has stories about him, even my kids who’ve viewed him in action at the mall.

He was at it again last week, yelling at us.
He comes in towards the end of the games to pick her up. This time she was bowling nicely above her average but he insisted on making fun of it.
Her teammates took it upon themselves to point out it’s not nice to talk like that about your wife. That, predictably, set him off.
Verbally, but that’s bad enough.
One of the ladies (a very sweet and gentle one) was so upset she said it was a good thing she didn’t have a gun!

It wasn’t quite as bad as the time a year or two ago when he was asked to not smoke directly at the bowlers. That time he made ample use of the word “fuck” and was banned from the bowling center for awhile.

Now these aren’t foolish youngsters – Edith and her husband are in their 70s.
I used to think people got smarter with age. But apparently not.
I can sort of understand why she stays with him – I don’t agree with it, just understand it – but why don’t their adult children intervene?
I don’t think I’d allow my mother to exist in such a toxic atmosphere.

Anyway, then along came the article (referenced above) and since it’s weighing on me I figured it was time to write.
Get it out of my system.

When you live in an atmosphere of feeling like you’re constantly in siege with regard to who you are as a person – how do you know where truth ends and lies begin?
How do you know whom to trust?

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